One of my favourite songs is The Proclaimers’ Joyful Kilmarnock Blues which includes the line:
“When I started walking at Wishaw, my eyes obscured my vision…”
Thanks to a hole in my left retina, I now have major spots in front of my eye. Not spots really, more like large grey clouds of hairy debris that pass with alarming regularity across my field of vision. And now the same thing has started in my right eye, so it can all feel a bit much.
But sometimes inconvenient physical glitches lead me to interesting/prophetic moments.
It constantly surprises me that my vision isn’t impaired. I can see through these things even as they waft around distracting me from appreciating what’s beyond.
There is also nothing I can do to make them go away; they are permanent flaws. However, when I’m relaxed and just getting on with life, my brain can sometimes even forget they’re there.
You see? It’s a good reminder to me that being fixated on what’s wrong –
imperfection – mine and others’
wants and desires
– will all stop me from seeing and appreciating the beauty of the big picture.
Focusing on the floaters in my eyes makes me feel tired and cranky and anxious.
And so it is with my inner sight. I need to work harder at cultivating God-Vision, by which I mean seeing the biggest picture I’m capable of seeing and not worrying about the things that irk, irritate and distract me from loving. I need to practice taking deep breaths so that my brain (heart) can learn to ignore the flaws and be filled with wonder and gratitude.
Which takes me to another favourite song, this one by the Rend Collective with the brilliant prayer of a chorus:
“You’re not finished with me yet
You’re not finished with me yet.
By your power I can change I can change
Cause you’re not finished with me yet.”